Rest my sweet child

Yesterday we laid to rest my little boy. It was the hardest day of my life. He looked so peaceful and so beautiful almost like a smile was on his face. That brings comfort to me. He was letting us know that he was healthy and happy playing in heaven.
Chris and I decided to have a private service. All of our families and our closest friends came to pay respect to our son. Some of the most wonderful people from Ann Arbor that got to know us and Liam also came to honor him. Thank you so much to those five amazing girls. It was a long trip for them to make in one day and it means everything to Chris and I and our families to have them share in this day with us. We love you, Wendy, Molly, Jenny, Nicole, and Julie.
We honored him by beginning the service with the song Amazing Grace For those of you that know my family, you know that song was touching because it was played at my cousin Katie's funeral as well. Pastor Larry gave a beautiful service, one of the best I have ever known to help us mourn, celebrate and honor my baby boy. I asked Pastor if he would recite The poem "I still would have chosen you" by Terri Banish (Which I have previously spoke of it in a previous blog which was sent to me by a special person). The song "I won't give up" by Jason Mraz was also played. These two pieces were so fitting and so true and so Liam, its the way we feel about him and our journey. I would have chosen him to be my son and it was all worth it. I had the best 78 days spent with the most beautiful, most precious angel that I could have ever known. We finished out the service with everyone paying there last respects with the Superman theme song. The service could not have been more perfect. It was a funeral for a king!!!!
We then had a procession to Poland Riverside Cemetary where his body was laid to rest with prayers. We then celebrated his life with a reception of food, family and friends.
It was a hard and very sad day, one we will never forget. There are so many of you that have grown to love him as much as we do and I Thank you. One little boy made such a difference in his short life and I am honored, blessed and proud to be his mother.

Missing my Superhero

The love and support from all of you is so overwhelming. I thank each and everyone of you for following our journey. Liam has touched more lives in his short life then I could have ever dreamed. I never realized when I began writing about him and our life that so many people would follow. I believe that his short life was to bring so many people together and bring us all back to prayer. Prayers get me through, not only my own but all of yours. I believe in the power it holds. We all prayed for miracles and we got them. Everyday and every second of every day that he was on this earth, God showed us miracles. Someone told me that he surprised everyone that he lived as long as he did with such a devastating diagnosis but he did so because of the overwhelming love that we all had for him.
He passed away and went to our Father so peacefully in our arms while surrounded by so many that loved him whole heartedly
We miss him so much and is thought about every moment of everyday. He has changed my life forever. He has taught me so much and Chris and I are so very proud of him.
When times started to get tough before he left us my parents took me on a walk by the hospital to a river where we sat on a bench and enjoyed our surroundings and there I heard the song I won't give up by Jason Mraz and it reminded me of him. The words "God knows we're worth it" speak volumes. All of this was worth it. Having the time we had was worth it!
We lost my cousin Katie when she was young and I know for certain that she has been holding him and loving him since he got to heaven. It brings me comfort knowing I will get to see him again someday.
Thank you for everything. We love you all.
Would like to send a special shout out to my amazing father and grandfather Dana, Happy Birthday Dad. I love you xoxo

Day 78

Today at 6:59pm our little boy got his wings! Everyday that we spent with him is a day we will cherish forever! Chris and I are so proud to say we our parents to a SUPERHERO.
We created an angel that will never be forgotten! He is finally at peace...

Day 77

The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid
Psalm 118:6
Pray for STRENGTH, COURAGE and PEACE......

Day 76

Liam had his wound vac changed today and his incision is healing nicely. He tolerated the change well. Still having fevers off and on today. They do come down with Tylenol. Still having Bp issues. Especially when he is heavily sedated. But overall today was restful. He would wake up like himself and interact with us then peacefully fall back to sleep.
I sat on his bed today and we had story time. I put him to sleep along with Chris and mom. I love days like today. They prove that every moment with him is a miracle.
My dad and Aunt Amanda came up this evening. We love when our families blend with our PCTU family.

Day 75

I received this from someone today that wrote on my blog! I wish I knew your name, this poem has touched my heart more then I could tell you. Thank you for sending this to me. All of it is so true. Through all of the sadness and heartache I would have never have changed any of it. Everyday and every second of everyday that Liam is here on earth has been a miracle. He has touched all of our lives.

. I Still Would Have Chosen You ~By Terri Banish

If before you were born, I could have gone to Heaven and saw all the beautiful souls, I still would have chosen you...
If God had told me, "This soul would one day need extra care and needs", I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me, "This soul may make your heart bleed", I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me, "This soul would make you question the depth of your faith", I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me, "This soul would make tears flow from your eyes that could fill a river", I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me, "This soul may one day make you witness overbearing suffering", I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me, "All that you know to be normal would drastically change", I still would have chosen you.
Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you.
I write this blog to all of you while I lay from Liam's hospital bed. Nurse Jenna had an amazing idea to get a big boy bed for him so we could be close to him and cuddle him. It was so cute at one point today. He woke up while I lay staring at him and it was almost like he said wow mom watch my personal space. He has the best expressions.
He spiked another fever last night. His weight is down. He is still significantly swollen but his eyes are finally his eyes if that makes sense. Our plan at this point is to see how he does over the weekend and re echo him on Monday and check the blood clot again. Obviously at this point we are going to let God be in control and love up on our little boy the most we can over the weekend. We want to celebrate Liam !

Day 74

Some of the hardest days of my life have all unfolded here in Michigan. Liam held steady today.. Still has extreme body edema. I did get a few moments of his eyes were I was able to read him a book today. He is still the sweetest boy..it's like he looks at me and says it all ok mom....
He has changed my life in so many ways and made me a better person. I met with his surgeon and the attending along with some great nurses and our social worker today to go over Liam's care. Liam is on a downward slide and if he continues to need additional support with blood pressure etc they feel like it is not fair to him to do this. His little body has been through so much. Everybody has said Liam will tell us when he cannot do anymore and my fear is that he is telling us. Chris and I have made a promise to never do harm to our little boy and always do what's best for him. The doctors all say we will never need to make decisions on our own, these people are amazing and I truly love them all whole heartedly.
Another echo was performed today and his pulmonary veins that were fixed in his last open heart surgery look fine but they found a blood clot on his broviac. This is a line that goes into his heart for access for meds!/blood. They started him on heparin to see how this all works out but it continues to be one thing after another for him. My mom has been here for me since Chris left, she has been my backbone through all of this. Aunt Angie came up to visit with us for a few days. She always bring positive energy to us when we need it most.
Prayers for my son, for strength, courage, and peace. Xoxo