Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you special moms out there. I especially pray for us moms that our children are not here. Mother's Day is a day were we give thanks and remember our moms for all that they do for us. Our moms mean everything to us and they should be celebrated everyday but on this day it's their day. A day to stop and say Mom, I love you and you mean everything to me. Thank you for all that you do!!

Mine this year is different, I am a mom to Liam Kent Sugar but unfortunately he is not here with me on this earth. If only things can be different, but in the words of my amazing mother...if you can't be the one to take care of your child who else would you want to take care of your child but Jesus. That's my strength. That's my courage. That's my will to get through this challenge I have been given.
The kind words I am given from all of you are humbling but on a day like today, its a struggle.

On this Mother's Day, thanks to Gianna's light, Chris and I and our families joined in a balloon release to remember Liam and all the other sweet angel babies.
As we let go of our blue, pink and yellow balloons we all became one. One in the fact that we all share the pain of knowing love lost.
I met people and families that share in the same grief that we do. I pray for strength, comfort, courage and happiness to all of you! Thank you to those that introduced yourself to us. That meant everything to me. Our angels, are with us always and we will always be mother's to them. That can never be taken away.
Special shout out and love to:
Our superhero angel Liam, my amazing cousin Katie, sweet baby Zoey, precious Gianna, Elizabeth's beautiful baby boy, the perfect triplet babies, gorgeous Eli, sweet little Christian, Lily Grace and all the other children that have gone to heaven before us, WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU EVERYDAY!!

Much love to all on this day and everyday.
Xoxo

It's all for him

Have you ever experienced a moment when you are happy and heart broken at the same time. I experience this everyday, like when you go about your normal day, or when you go away and enjoy yourself or when you are doing something that just makes you smile but the heartache is still there. It will always be there. The tears stream down for what we have lost but the smiles come when you think of that precious little boy that you have made. That feeling that never goes away like you can't take a deep breath but you still continue to enjoy the people you love the most and the fun times that you make for yourself. I have said it before and I will say it again. Chris and I live to make Liam proud of us. We go about our days trying not to remember the bad days but remember those moments that we cherish. To celebrate our son, to enjoy our memories. To laugh, smile, experience things the way Liam would want us.
Today was one of those days were I was elated but devastated all in one.
Liam's headstone was placed at his site. I received the call and headed right over there. In that moment when I saw his headstone I smiled and cried at once. I am so happy that my amazing little boy finally received his monument. One he deserves. That piece that was cemented where he is laid to rest for eternity. One that represents him and how amazing of a baby he was and still is. My heart was happy and crushed all in one. When I stood over his site I became overwhelmed.
How can one experience both emotions together?

I don't know how but I do. It's my life now.

I am so happy to finally have this for him but I am sad for what it means. That he is gone and I have a lifetime without him until I get to heaven to see him again.
He deserves nothing but the best and this is one thing Chris and I can give him to memorialize his life. It is a beautiful monument for him. I want to share it with all of you. It's amazing just like him.
Xoxo.