1 year

This is it.... The week that my mind and heart have achingly known was approaching. Liam's 1st birthday. 

August 27th, 2012 at 9:57 my world was changed forever.  Chris and I met our strong, beautiful little boy.  In those first few moments I heard his one and only cry that will forever be burned in my ears and the sight of a scar-free little boy that will be tattooed into my eyes until I take my last breath on this earth.  How one little person can make you love beyond words. How the sight of him shows you the true meaning of what this life is about. 

 God, please give me the strength to do this, carry us through this life and especially these next few days as we long to hold him, kiss him, see what he would look like and watch him grow with life and personality, stand by us as we remember the bravest, awe inspiring gift you have given us.  

The hole, the ache, the heaviness my heart feels daily sometimes becomes so overwhelming tears just flow and on others I function because I have my faith, Chris and Parker and our family, friends, and also I can feel and see the presence of Liam all day, everyday. Seeing reflections of light, rainbows, a red cardinal that shows up regularly, the warmth of the sun, stars, our beautiful garden, my list of GodWinks are endless. This is how I know he is never far away. 

This year has been full of tears, sorrow, mourning, and smiles, laughter and memories. 

We have been given a special gift in Liam. How I wish things were different, how I wish I could be planning a huge birthday party, and man would I give him the biggest birthday cake that I could find, and yea, I would allow him to be covered in it too. Just the thought makes me smile and tears fill my eyes. 

The firsts are the hardest I know, the firsts of him and what I am missing is what I crave, what I dream of.  

We are having a birthday party for him the best way we know.  To celebrate his life and I will continue to have one every year on his day. August 27th is his. The day we got  to meet our very own Superhero. 

All I ask from you is On Tuesday wish him a very Happy birthday.  I know the love from all of you runs deep for him.  I want him to know he is loved and missed and that he will never be forgotten. 

(Oh yea, I have asked Corey Monteith aka Finn Hudson from Glee to sing Happy Birthday to him as he is surrounded by all of our loved ones that have gone before us.  Now that's a sight I can't wait to see!!!!!!)