Every morning I open my eyes and I pray. I pray for strength to get me through the day. I pray for Liam to always be with me. I pray for all those families that have to go through the holiday season with the grief of loved ones we have lost. There are so many of us that share in the loss.
It's been almost six weeks since Liam left this earth and there are days were I am ok and others that I feel the overwhelming urge to cry all day. I have returned to work a few days a week and its been hard. I never realized how many people would not know about Liam's passing. They are mean well, when asking how the baby is doing but it becomes emotionally exhausting having to tell his story over and over.
I miss him so much and the sadness is still so raw but I get comfort at the thought of heaven.
The school shooting broke my heart. As I think about the families that have to deal with such devastation. I feel for all that deal with such loss. We are connected by the sadness and tears but I know God walks with us and on our hard days he carries us.
Chris and I feel bittersweet about Christmas this year. The true meaning of Christmas means so much more. We will be surrounded by our families and friends to celebrate this time of year but I am not going to lie, I want to sleep the next five days always and pretend that none of it happened. But God made us strong and we do not live our lives like that. We are not wired to crawl up and hide, we want to celebrate our son and what he stood for. We want to watch Bryson open all of his presents from Santa, we want to watch our families enjoy their presents we bought for them. It is the power of giving, the power of love. Chris and I feel that if Liam was strong enough to fight then so should we.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Much love from me to you!
May God continue to heal your broken heart and guide your steps. Cry when you feel the need, laugh at memories and know tat there is no "right" way to grieve. Prayers to you, Chris and your family during the holidays and beyond. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteAngie and Chris,
ReplyDeleteMy mother lost a 2 year old daughter many years ago and she came to my mother in a dream and told her not to worry and be upset because she was sitting at the right hand of GOD :)
Thinking and sending prayers to you and your family today that you all have a blessed Christmas, I know it's going to be hard for all of you but know that prayers and thoughts are with you all today and every day.
ReplyDeleteAngie- must be a really hard time of year- I cannot imagine. I hope that you guys got through the holidays ok and stayed positive in your thinking. I was thinking of Liam on Christmas as I am 25 weeks pregnant and thinking about you and how you were doing. I pray that your family can continue healing with your loved ones. We pray for you often.
ReplyDelete