It's all for him

Have you ever experienced a moment when you are happy and heart broken at the same time. I experience this everyday, like when you go about your normal day, or when you go away and enjoy yourself or when you are doing something that just makes you smile but the heartache is still there. It will always be there. The tears stream down for what we have lost but the smiles come when you think of that precious little boy that you have made. That feeling that never goes away like you can't take a deep breath but you still continue to enjoy the people you love the most and the fun times that you make for yourself. I have said it before and I will say it again. Chris and I live to make Liam proud of us. We go about our days trying not to remember the bad days but remember those moments that we cherish. To celebrate our son, to enjoy our memories. To laugh, smile, experience things the way Liam would want us.
Today was one of those days were I was elated but devastated all in one.
Liam's headstone was placed at his site. I received the call and headed right over there. In that moment when I saw his headstone I smiled and cried at once. I am so happy that my amazing little boy finally received his monument. One he deserves. That piece that was cemented where he is laid to rest for eternity. One that represents him and how amazing of a baby he was and still is. My heart was happy and crushed all in one. When I stood over his site I became overwhelmed.
How can one experience both emotions together?

I don't know how but I do. It's my life now.

I am so happy to finally have this for him but I am sad for what it means. That he is gone and I have a lifetime without him until I get to heaven to see him again.
He deserves nothing but the best and this is one thing Chris and I can give him to memorialize his life. It is a beautiful monument for him. I want to share it with all of you. It's amazing just like him.
Xoxo.