What a difference a year can make

One year ago today was that dreadful day when Chris and I heard that our baby was sick. Two weeks prior we had had the overwhelming joy of finding out our baby would be a boy but then On that day, April 11, 2012 was a day that we will never forget. Liam was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect. Our world came crashing down. So much information that we could not digest in one office visit. Never expecting to hear the words something is wrong with your sons heart. Not knowing how bad it actually was for a few more weeks but All Chris and I felt in that moment on this day one year ago, was we were in so much love with this baby, one that we have never met, one that we haven't even named yet and we might not even get the chance to hold him, kiss him, tell him how much we love him, and never watch him grow and go through all the milestones that a family should.
After the dust began to settle and Chris and I were able to think clearly, we knew in our hearts, and through our prayers that we would do all we could to fight for our son. Even if it meant going through so much heartache, he deserved that chance. A chance of life, to be loved, and to be a little boy. God had others plans for Liam, but he gave us 78 days to love him, hold him, kiss him and tell him how much we love him. One thing that I will always cherish was knowing we had him for longer. I carried him for 39 weeks I kept him alive, he lived through me and my body. We got to feel him kick, and trust me I felt him kick.. I knew he would be tough just by experiencing those nights. We got to see him on ultrasound weekly, hear his heart beat, watch him hiccup, see the changes in him as he grew week by week. That is ours, ours to have.

I look back on this year and remember all of it. Some moments so vividly were my heart aches, were my sadness is so overwhelming, or those moments were I would love to the depths of my soul for this precious little being and smile.
My relationships have grown so much over this year. My faith in God, got me through, and still continues to be my lifeline. Our families and our friends who have endured with us in our pain and have walked this journey loving us and all the others that have reached out to us. Chris and I would not be surviving even now a year later without those things.
How much one year can change your life forever. Never to take life for granted or never forget to cherish what is important to you. How in one year I gained the bravest, strongest and most beautiful little boy and then lost him in that same year. Our angel, destined to be in heaven, always to watch over us and to make a difference in his short life. Chris and I have had the best and the worst year but we continue to stay strong for Liam. To make him proud of us as we are proud of him.
One of my favorite books that I read to Liam "Bedtime Bible Stories" says
Psalm 56:11. I trust in God, I will not be afraid.
No matter what comes your way big or small, say a prayer, trust in God, and stand up tall. You can face anything: God's on your side. Put on your courage and don't ever hide..