For my PCTU GIRLS.

To all my PCTU girls,
I miss you all terribly. For three months I learned to love each and everyone one of you. You all brought different things to my life. If it was getting some amazing advice from you all, or catching up on our celebrity gossip, or eating food together, or reading Liam books, making crafts, or just getting to know all of you and you all getting to know us. I am forever blessed to have had those moments. I know my sweet angel above is watching over all of you as well. Liam knew you all as family as much as we do. You are all apart of the Sugar/Mirone clan forever.
Chris and I returned home from a quick getaway and we received a card from all of you and it brought tears to my eyes. I love you girls so much and I will never forget any of you.
Chris and I would love to make a trip back to see all of you soon.
Much love from me to you!!

Every day is a challenge

Everyday is a challenge. Not a second goes by where I do not think of my baby boy. From the moment my eyes open in the morning until my eyes close at night. I still continue to think about him while I sleep. Sometimes I feel so connected to him after a nights rest. Like he was dancing with us in our dreams. Every night I ask my little solider to rest his head between Chris and I and continue to comfort us. Knowing that he is with us no matter where we are and what we are doing also gives me peace.
His strength in his short life, knowing all that he endured, helps Chris and I fight through our challenges. Life will never be the same. But having conceived a child that was destined to be a superhero and a gorgeous angel gives me strength. I am so blessed to know you all love him as much as we do.
The firsts of it all without him is hard. Yesterday he would have been three months. It's crazy how the 27th of each month has so much more meaning. Or how crazy it is that life it's self has so much meaning.
Christmas will be another hard challenge but I thank god everyday for our support from our family and friends and to all of you I have never met. You all continue to give us the strength to get through another day
I still continue to live one day at a time. Always new moments or conversations that wear me down but it's all about the power of prayer. Without that I would be left with nothing. We believe in heaven and angels for a reason and I have a very special one with me all the time.
Chris and I escaped the cold weather in Ohio for a few days and came down south to enjoy the sun and each other. It was a much needed getaway. I have felt guilty throughout the trip with leaving home after just getting back after three months of living in Michigan and that I should not be enjoying myself after losing Liam. But he sends me little signs letting me know its ok and I am with you. People like to call them Godwinks. I will share a few pictures from our trip, you will see what I mean. Almost like little balls of light or as what I say my precious angel just hanging out with us. Love to all xoxo

Born and raised

I may have been born and raised a Buckeye fan but my heart is in Ann Arbor.....
GO BLUE!!!!! For Liam.

Thankful

Today I am thankful for the 78 days that I got to spend with the most amazing little boy. He has made me a better person. I am also thankful for the wonderful support from our family and friends and to all of you that have shown so much love to us. Some of you I do not even know but just having all of you to be right along side of us , means so much. The love is overwhelming and gives us comfort.
Happy Thanksgiving from the Sugar's I hope you all spent it with the ones you love the most. I know my sweet angel was with us all today. He is missed dearly.

Mourning over my son

Has I am in bed tonight mourning over the loss of my son, all i can think of is blogging my thoughts to help me cope. I guess its like writing a journal of my feelings, which I have done since day 1. Over the last few days, I have kept myself very busy. Doing things or talking to people from the moment I wake up to the time I lay me head on my pillow keeps me together. Falling asleep from exhaustion is easier then laying in bed crying yourself to sleep. Being within my own thoughts is my downfall where I continue to miss him and grieve for him. Which I know he is looking down On me saying Mommy, please don't cry, I am safe here with Jesus. I want to be selfish and wish he was here with me. I want to experience the sleepless nights caused by him crying instead of the ones with thoughts of sadness. I want to feel the annoyance of going somewhere and having to take almost your house to accommodate his every need. I want people to meet him and get to see him grow up. Those are the things I dream of.
As I was on the couch tonight I continued to feel a pit in my stomach growing larger and larger until the tears started coming and all I could do was let them come and pray.
I miss him more then I could tell all of you. I know it will always be like this. Our lives are forever changed. Chris and I have changed. Little things don't matter anymore. Realizing what makes us happy and not taking for granted the things we have instead of wanting things we do not need or worrying over things that are not important. It puts our lives in perspective and we know what counts.
I live moment by moment until we see him again.
Thank you Dr. Marx-Armille for making this. I love it for always! Xoxo

Rest my sweet child

Yesterday we laid to rest my little boy. It was the hardest day of my life. He looked so peaceful and so beautiful almost like a smile was on his face. That brings comfort to me. He was letting us know that he was healthy and happy playing in heaven.
Chris and I decided to have a private service. All of our families and our closest friends came to pay respect to our son. Some of the most wonderful people from Ann Arbor that got to know us and Liam also came to honor him. Thank you so much to those five amazing girls. It was a long trip for them to make in one day and it means everything to Chris and I and our families to have them share in this day with us. We love you, Wendy, Molly, Jenny, Nicole, and Julie.
We honored him by beginning the service with the song Amazing Grace For those of you that know my family, you know that song was touching because it was played at my cousin Katie's funeral as well. Pastor Larry gave a beautiful service, one of the best I have ever known to help us mourn, celebrate and honor my baby boy. I asked Pastor if he would recite The poem "I still would have chosen you" by Terri Banish (Which I have previously spoke of it in a previous blog which was sent to me by a special person). The song "I won't give up" by Jason Mraz was also played. These two pieces were so fitting and so true and so Liam, its the way we feel about him and our journey. I would have chosen him to be my son and it was all worth it. I had the best 78 days spent with the most beautiful, most precious angel that I could have ever known. We finished out the service with everyone paying there last respects with the Superman theme song. The service could not have been more perfect. It was a funeral for a king!!!!
We then had a procession to Poland Riverside Cemetary where his body was laid to rest with prayers. We then celebrated his life with a reception of food, family and friends.
It was a hard and very sad day, one we will never forget. There are so many of you that have grown to love him as much as we do and I Thank you. One little boy made such a difference in his short life and I am honored, blessed and proud to be his mother.

Missing my Superhero

The love and support from all of you is so overwhelming. I thank each and everyone of you for following our journey. Liam has touched more lives in his short life then I could have ever dreamed. I never realized when I began writing about him and our life that so many people would follow. I believe that his short life was to bring so many people together and bring us all back to prayer. Prayers get me through, not only my own but all of yours. I believe in the power it holds. We all prayed for miracles and we got them. Everyday and every second of every day that he was on this earth, God showed us miracles. Someone told me that he surprised everyone that he lived as long as he did with such a devastating diagnosis but he did so because of the overwhelming love that we all had for him.
He passed away and went to our Father so peacefully in our arms while surrounded by so many that loved him whole heartedly
We miss him so much and is thought about every moment of everyday. He has changed my life forever. He has taught me so much and Chris and I are so very proud of him.
When times started to get tough before he left us my parents took me on a walk by the hospital to a river where we sat on a bench and enjoyed our surroundings and there I heard the song I won't give up by Jason Mraz and it reminded me of him. The words "God knows we're worth it" speak volumes. All of this was worth it. Having the time we had was worth it!
We lost my cousin Katie when she was young and I know for certain that she has been holding him and loving him since he got to heaven. It brings me comfort knowing I will get to see him again someday.
Thank you for everything. We love you all.
Would like to send a special shout out to my amazing father and grandfather Dana, Happy Birthday Dad. I love you xoxo